You think we would know, How to Live Life Fully Each Day
That’s not the case though. Most of us go through each day Stressed the **Bleep** out, worrying about this or that…money, the kids, our weight, our looks, our health, our family, what the jones are doing better than us… whatever the case may be, we tend to take on WAY to much, to live life fully. I lived this way for way too long… It took me decades to learn a different way of life.
Finding Joy is now my daily goal… Want more Joy – then drop the bat… read on and see if you use the bat…
The bat…
In the past when I reflected on my life, I would think, “I could have chosen to do this instead of that.” Although, not in those exact words – I beat myself up for my decisions – The thoughts were more like… I should have – I could have – Well, that was stupid. The energetic bat was readily available for me to pick up, beat myself, feel guilty for and shameful of the choices I had made.
NOW, through re-programming the belief system I had adopted from childhood – teenage years- and on into adult life, I am grateful for all of my decisions and for all of the experiences I had. By eradicating the beliefs that no longer served me, I was able to look at my life differently.
The way I look at things NOW is Way different than before. Every decision I made over my lifetime has taught me something. If I had any variation on the decision(s), I may not be in the place I am today, writing you, nor be the woman I am.
Many, like the old me, go through life with regrets and say; If only I had…I should have… I could have…I shouldn’t have…etc. – All of these are conditional programming.
A different perspective...Looking through a different Lens
If you made any choices differently, you too, would not have learned something that was vital in your life-growth-journey. You may not have the children you have, the spouse (if you have one), the job, the friends, the good memories and the others too… When we are in the middle of what we consider not so good times, it is hard to see the light, especially if you have not been taught too look for it. What I mean is, if you are always looking at thing negatively, then that is all you see and that is all you will see.
We have been taught to label experiences good and bad, however, why not see them as simply experiences, neither good nor bad, as I personally believe everything is a lesson for my growth.
This is what I have learned to do….
Without judging, I ask myself what nugget can I take with me from this experience to possibly help myself or someone else in the future? And sometimes I’m not able to see that nugget until the situation comes along to help someone.
The point I am expressing is to get you to shift your perspective, even an inch. To look at your life differently. Here’s a quote I carried along with me for a LONG time until I really GOT it. The way we THINK has a huge impact on WHAT we attract in our life.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change… Wayne Dyer
This is work and takes practice and time. I’m not saying it is easy! Give yourself permission to change the way YOU think.
Here’s a few suggestions:
- As you are going through your life and thinking about things in the past. Instead of saying If Only….Look at the situation and see what you have learned from it… do not pick up the bat and start beating yourself emotionally. From EVERYTHING we experience we can take little nuggets of wisdom with us into the future to hand off to others. We can learn to be more compassionate to others that are experiencing similar things.
- Get a journal and write these nuggets down. Better yet write your feelings, your thoughts and anything you would like. Having a journal is… and was for me a way to express myself and to get shit out of my head and on paper… (Yes, I said it…because when I look back at my journaling— it was exactly that, the state of my mind at that time-HOT MESS –this is another blog post)
- Then feel grateful for those nuggets of wisdom you can share with others. Pat yourself on the back and feel some love for yourself. You did it!
Now here’s something I could look back on and beat myself up for, if I was still in the same frame of mind that I used to be.
Get the tissues out…
I cried, that’s an understatement, while writing this, yes, my mascara was all over my face
In December 2012 my brother called, said dad was really sick and if I wanted to see him, now would be the chance. He needed an operation and the doctors said he had a 50/50 chance of making it through. He chose to have the operation. I arranged everything and my daughter and I flew in the day he had the operation. (At that time I was living in Las Vegas) I felt that all would go well during the operation.
I hadn’t seen my parents physically face to face in 2 years or more… I had been through a divorce, money was tight and I did what I had to do to make ends meet… (Yeah…That’s a story too). We were at the hospital when my dad woke up from surgery. He thought he was dreaming. It was precious, as I have always been “Daddys little girl.”
Mom had been at the hospital pretty much 24/7. I told her to go home and I’d stay. That night I barely slept. I could see dad going in and out of his body. Every time he came back in his body he would jump and wake up briefly. I took a picture of the band he had on his arm as it was the number 12-12-12, yes numbers mean something. The following day, he was released from the hospital with stage 4 lymph node cancer. They gave him 6 months to live.
We took him home and spent every moment we could with him until we had to leave. When I left, I knew this would be the last time I would see him alive… in this lifetime. We talked on the phone and over skype through the holidays. My dad wasn’t always like this however with time, he listened to me talk about calling the angels to help us and he asked me to send him healing energy. I loved it when he told me he called on Archangel Raphael. Our conversations got to the point where he could barely talk. I knew why he was holding on…I told him that it was okay to let go and that we would take care of mom. I knew the time was getting close, however he was a fighter.
I remember the day, like it was yesterday when I got a call from my brother saying, I think today is it… Dad is going down fast. My mom had gone out to make some arrangements and dad held on until she arrived home. He passed shortly after she got home on January 28, 2013. The funeral was set for the next week…. I could not attend the funeral as we had just spent what I had on tickets the previous month. Everyone said it was a great service.
About a year and half later, I made the decision to move back to my home town in GA. I could beat myself up for a) not moving back sooner or b) not being able to attend the funeral.
I CHOOSE not to do that though. I know the events happened like they were supposed to, because if I had moved back sooner, I wouldn’t have learned some VITAL lessons that were so important for the growth I had after moving back to my home state. This move was of my higher purpose and necessary for my growth. All that occurred was for me to step into my power, grow and heal.
Everything is for an experience, a lesson, to grow and/or to heal.
I found this poem as I was looking for something on my computer and I am not sure who wrote it. To me this poem is saying: Live Life Fully Each Day. Do what you love, show the people you love, that you love them and that includes YOURSELF! No taking ANYONE or ANY Day for granted ever again.
If I knew it would be the last time
That I ‘ d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I ‘ d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say “I love you,”
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I ‘ m sure you’ ll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there’s always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say “I love you,”
And certainly there’s another chance
to say our “Anything I can do?
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I ‘ d like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you ‘ re waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you ‘ll surely regret the day,
That you didn’t take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you’ll always hold them dear.
Take time to say “I’m sorry,”
“Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” or “It ‘ s okay.”
And if tomorrow never comes,
you’ll have no regrets about today.